Dealing with elderly parents

 Salaam.

I appreciate that it can be stressful in having to attend to Teta in light of her recent odd behaviour. So just some reminders to make it easier for us to deal with insha'Allah.


1. The approach to our elderly parents (grandparents have the same right) is given to us directly by Allah SWT:


۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا 

For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.


وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا 

And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, “My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young.”


2. We carry out our duties (and perform our good actions) for our sake  on the Day of Judgement not looking to be thanked for it in this world. 


76:9

إِنَّمَا نُطْعِمُكُمْ لِوَجْهِ ٱللَّهِ لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَآءًۭ وَلَا شُكُورًا ٩


˺ “We feed you only for the sake of Allah, seeking neither reward nor thanks from you.



76:10

إِنَّا نَخَافُ مِن رَّبِّنَا يَوْمًا عَبُوسًۭا قَمْطَرِيرًۭا ١٠


We fear from our Lord a horribly distressful Day.”


3. Our attitude/approach should be that of caring and mercy so that we are shown that by Allah on the Day of Judgment:


Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth, and the One in the heavens will have mercy upon you.”


Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1924


4. We have to remember that the reality of the obligations that we face are within our capabilities to deal with:

  " لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها "

"Allah SWT does not burden a soul with more than it's capability"


Rather than looking at the difficulty we should remind ourselves that no reward comes without difficulty. The greater the sacrifice/difficulty then the greater the reward.


5. In our duas we ask Allah SWT to make us righteous (Salih), so He gives us the opportunity to develop it in our character.

We ask Allah SWT for Firdous so He gives us the opportunities to earn it.....


May Allah SWT give us wisdom and the strength to carry it









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